A Rose by Any Other Name

Generally speaking, I don't use the 'ic' word to refer to myself, or to anyone else who has diabetes. It is a personal policy, and not one I impose on others, so go ahead and use it all you want.

The major exception to my policy has been during pregnancy - when tightly controlling my diabetes was of the utmost importance. Then, and only then, have I considered myself to be a diabetic. Because then I was ALL ABOUT the diabetes.

Having worked for a disability focused organization for over 10 years now, I've become accustomed to using people-first language whenever possible. It makes sense to me, especially after listening to a parent of a child with cystic fibrosis as she recounted the pain of hearing health care staff refer to her child as "a cystic". I also believe that you are what you call yourself: If I call myself by my disease, how can I expect people to see beyond it? Generally, I feel that I give the disease less power if I say 'I have diabetes' instead of 'I am a diabetic'. And to round out my opposition to the ic word, I will forever have the thick Boston accented voice of Paul Madden referring to his wonderful staff and campers as "people who just happen to have diabetes."

On the other hand, I think it is not insignificant that the times during my life when I have had the best control, the best blood sugars, and the most diabetes success are the times when I have labeled myself as diabetic. Perhaps my avoidance of the word is a reflection of denial?

Then there's the debate over pronunciation. Is it dia-be-TEES or dia-be-TUS? I can settle that one with a story from a teacher friend of mine. One day, the vice principal was reading announcements over the PA system. "Don't forget to bring in your donations for the American Die-AH-betees Association". Isn't it nice to know that there's someone in the world who hasn't been affected by diabetes in any way and doesn't know how to pronounce it??

PS, Happy World Diabetes Day everyone!

12/12/05: Additional thoughts...

I don't see this as a raging debate. I think that people in positions of power (ADA, JDRF, etc) and companies that sell to people with diabetes would do well either mix up their terminology or default to the more generic 'people with diabetes'. Individuals, especially those who live with diabetes each day (either as a person with or a parent of a person with) can call themselves whatever they want.

I *do* have a problem with some of the nastiness I perceive that comes out in this debate. Those who prefer to "have diabetes" should understand that it's an individuals perogative to call him or herself a diabetic. Those who are comfortable with or unfazed by being a diabetic should understand that people with diabetes aren't necessarily cow-towing (sp?) to political correctness. Some of us actually gave it some thought and decided, for whatever reason, that we preferred the more 'pc' term. We're not immature or moronic, we're not dumbing down or in denial.

Diabetes is a highly individualized disease. I would never say to another diabetic, "you shouldn't call yourself that, it offends me," just as I would never say "you really should be on a pump". How I refer to my diabetes is a complex issue, and it may be 'affected by emotional baggage' but we all carry some of that, I think. Quite frankly, I don't think anyone should tell me to "get over it."

So please, don't look to me as representing a side in this debate. I'm just a gal musing about what I call myself.