Don't Worry, He's Fine

I've been forgetting to take my own advice.

I've been looking at my Ryan, age 4, with a wary eye lately. He's been going through some behavior stuff (being quite the monster, actually) and has been an odd sort of combination of tired and cranky and thirsty and hungry.

Now, someone who knows nothing about diabetes might say, "what's up with that kid?" and move on. I, on the other hand, say, "What is up with him?" and linger on "I wonder what his blood sugar is." Because information equals power but it can also equal paranoia.

I find myself trying to figure out how many times he's peed in the last few hours, wondering if this seemingly radical behavior shift relates to high blood sugar. I see the spectre of his pediatrician who, when we first met, cocked her head to one side while looking at his chart and said, "You and his father both have diabetes?"

This haunting is a miniscule price to pay for the joy of my two children. But in the moment, when I'm faced with what could be a potential symptom, it looms large. Those moments are fleeting but powerful.

The advice I give other parents with diabetes is "Relax! The chances are very high that your child will not develop it. He or she is probably hungry because they are growing, or thirsty because it's hot out, or cranky because they are a ________ (toddler, preschooler, kid, teenager)."

Ryan, for reasons I don't think I want to understand, does not mind checking his blood sugar. In fact, sometimes when he sees his Dad checking, he'll stick his arm out and say, "Check my bud". So I know that throughout all this, his blood sugar has been in range. We also keep ketone sticks around and he think's it's hysterical to pee on a stick. That's a nice and easy non-invasive way to make sure he's not in trouble.

Last night we visited with friends that we haven't really seen much this summer. Throughout the evening we heard comments about how much Ryan has grown, how tall he's gotten, and how, in his language and behavior and general demeanor, he's made the leap this summer from baby to little boy.

Growth spurts. Behavior milestones. A long, hot summer. The scary monster is pushed a little further back in the closet for now.