Kids 1, Spinach 0

Centerville, USA

Children everywhere are rejoicing in the apparent success of their "Down with Spinach" Campaign, which appears to have finally achieved its goal this week as the FDA warned Americans to avoid consuming any fresh spinach.

The nationwide campaign, also known in teen circles as "Spinach Sucks", emerged decades ago, spurred on by the fact that spinach is generally regarded as one of the most offending green vegetables available.

"For years we've been saying that spinach is totally grody and we're thrilled that the rest of the world is catching on," said campaign spokeskid Russell "Red" McPicky, age 6.

When questioned about the tactic of sickening over 100 people, McPicky denied any involvement. "Our people had nothing to do with that. We can't even spell bacteria, let alone sprinkle it on stuff."

"Down with Spinach" staff and volunteers are keeping a close eye on the situation, noting that the the leafy vegetable could make a comeback. "We'll only rest when kids everywhere are guaranteed a spinach-free childhood. Then, we'll tackle Broccoli."