On the Other Hand
I've spent a fair amount of time recently defending the right of a person with diabetes (or a couple with diabetes) to make their own damn decisions about marriage and procreation. I have no problem with a person with diabetes saying they choose not to have children. It's their choice. But I do take issue with the fact that people think it's ok to comment on other people's decisions. Toss out a blanket statement like xyz group of people "should never have children together. That is morally wrong" and you're going to get me started.
And (as evidenced by this *third* post on a topic that's been beaten to death), you don't want to get me started.
Because I tend to perseverate.
So I've been ranting to anyone who'll listen or read, boldly defending my right to pass on genes that might be considered by some to be faulty.
In an odd little twist of fate, I found myself in a conversation last week about donor sperm. Specifically, we were discussing just what aspects of a sperm donor profile would cause one to choose (or pass) on a donor.
Turns out, when you take love out of the equation, everything is fair game. Health history, parental and maternal health history - heck, even aunts and uncles come into play. Personality traits, likes and dislikes, and GPAs can be considered.
I stated that if I had to choose donor sperm I'd seek out someone who is not too tall (because I'm already tall, and tall plus tall could equal really tall, and trust me that's tough on a teenage girl) and someone who could sing (because if I could sell my soul to the devil it would be for the ability to sing). Of course, I'd be just as likely to end up creating a very tall, tone-deaf child instead of my cleverly designed average height American Idol.
But, truth be told, I'd probably set aside the files of donors with a strong family history of any number of conditions, including diabetes.
I guess that it's a good thing (for me, and for others with potential "flaws") that we don't all fill out 6 page health histories and personality surveys before a first date!
Please feel free to comment and describe your perfect donor!
posted by Kassie @ 8:52 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
On a lighter note to this post, my brother's girlfriend was telling me just this past weekend that her Aunt needed to go through artificial insemination because she and her husband couldn't conceive on their own. They needed a sperm donor and chose a Japanese donor so that they'd have smart kids.
I'm not kidding!!
I asked if the kid was smarter than the average, and she said not really. There's nothing outstanding saying that she is.
My brother's girlfriend is a genetic counselor btw.
IMO, as long as parents are informed and go into a pregnancy knowing the risks of doing so and are willing to be responsible for taking care of their child(ren) in the event that something does indeed comes up, then more power to them.
Its funny. I would never wish diabetes on anyone, but really, I'm not entirely afraid of it. I know it, I live it. It's just a part of life....
Now if the application said smoker, or drug user or alcoholic. Bye-Bye. I rather see my child struggle with a "manageable" disease then grapple with a drug or alcohol addiction. I literally watched my MIL deteriorate and die from lung cancer. I wouldn't wish THAT on anyone.
Of course then I get angry about comments regarding diabetics. Know what? My dd DOESN'T have the gene. I might not have the gene. If she gets T1, is it my fault? According to science, nope! Will I still blame myself? Yup! Is it stopping me from trying for another. NO WAY IN HELL.
I pray that people with such horrid mentalities are never left to face such a decision, but oh to be a fly on the wall when price of "princess" charming comes with genetic "baggage".
Ok, that should say prince or princess....
Got a little too riled up! LOL
I think it is every diabetics right to have children if they choose to. I have had diabetes for 22 years & have thought over the years about having biological children of my own, versus adoption. But when it boils down to it, if I choose not to, that's my choice. If I choose to, that's my choice. Outside people who either don't know about diabetes or are very uneducated have no right to comment on my life or any other diabetic who may or may not have children. It's ridiculous to think that some random person would tell someone they shouldn't have children because they are too short or tall or ugly or whatever. So where do people get off telling diabetics that they shouldn't have kids?
Wow the thought of people saying diabetics should not have kids never even occured to me! I was diagnosed just 2 months ago and never considered that my career as a sperm donor may be over! (kidding) Although I am one of those weird cases who has yet to display the genetic markers for the disease.
Wingman - that's just the thing - many, many people with diabetes don't have the genetic markers (at least the known ones!) and don't have it anywhere in their family.
Sorry to be the one to tell you about this sad "Reality" ;)
ok, lets look at this for a moment...in the case of type 1 diabetic males...they most always become impotent and get neuropathy. The neuropathy causes retrograde ejaculation. They are in actual fact infertile. By using insulin, they themselves are being kept alive artificially. It is also proven that male diabetics are more likey to have diabetic children than female diabetic mothers. Almost 10-15% chance. What does that tell you about evolution and Eugenics. Its simple science folks...they were not meant to procreate in the first place! Or be alive themselves! Cruel yes but REALITY! Dont have kids with a diabetic male, get artificially sperminated and save this child from a lifetime of complications.
IF it was true that type 1 males "almost always" become impotent and infertile (it's not) and IF it were true that 10-15% of men with type 1 had kids with type one (it's more like 5-7%) and IF it was true that all people with type 1 diabetes end up living a lifetime of horrible complications, then I think your cruel but "real" approach would make more sense to me personally.
PS please don't tell my husband (T1 for 40 years) that he's infertile. He might begin to suspect that his doppelganger sons aren't his ;)
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