Eenie, meenie, minie, moe...

When it comes to insulin pumps, mine isn't quite as ancient as the backpack size machines of the early days of pumpin', but the word "dinosaur" has been used to describe my minimed 508 (I'll pause here while some of you gasp).

I acquired this pump a month into my second pregnancy. I was on a pump break and using Lantus (successfully) but that was too new for a vessel of life such as myself, so I returned to pumping rather abruptly. Six weeks later, Minimed informed me that I could opt to jump to the Paradigm pumps, a whole different platform. If I declined to switch, I would be locked out of that series until my current warranty expired.

I found the glossy packet overwhelming and decided that another switch during my first trimester was not a great idea. Things were going well, no need to upset the apple cart.

As a result, I have been somewhat out of the loop on pump advancements. I know about carb wizards and insulin-on-board and such, but I've kept the information pretty much at arms' length, because it wasn't an option for me. No sense getting all jazzed up if it's not going to happen for me for several years.

Well, as of last October, I'm out of warranty. As an aside, I love that phrase. Yes, it's the pump warranty that expired, not mine (I hope). But my little blue artificial pancreas is so much a part of me that the words fit.

So, now that my dino-pump is doing things like eating batteries weekly and throwing occasional odd errors, I'm pump shopping. Truth be told, my friend Meredith is pump shopping, and I'm just along for the ride, peering over her shoulder.

It's very overwhelming. I will clearly have to re-learn pumping (to a certain extent), but everyone I talk to about this swears I will love life with a smart pump. Me, I feel like the guy who was perfectly content with his horse and buggy when that newfangled horseless carriage came along. Which features do I want? Which pumps have what features? Which call center has the shortest wait (and the least annoying hold music?) Which companies are in the market to stay? Who is closest to the coveted closed loop?

I have a gut feeling as to which pump I'll choose at this point. If all else fails, I have my reliable cootie catcher to help with the choice. It's only a four year committment, after all. Me and my new smart pump should be just fine.

But please don't ask me what color I'll get. I couldn't find any in hot pink.