My Six

I think today is D-blog day. I say "I think" because, without looking at my calendar, I'm not even sure what day it is today. A recent four-day weekend, the time change, and the 5 different sporting events my sons participated in over a 24 hour period this past weekend have me all muddled up! In fact, today, a cashier told me to have a nice weekend, and I didn't even flinch. Sadly, it's only Tuesday.

Apparently, the theme this year is "Six things you want people to know about diabetes". I'm grateful for a theme, since writing has not been easy lately. So, here goes...

1) My diabetes is different than your diabetes. You'd be shocked at the things I could tell you about my diabetes management over the years. Or, maybe, you'd be inspired by my experience. Most likely, both. Think of my diabetes as kind of a shock-and-awe thing!

2) My sons' diabetes is different than your kid's diabetes. Yes, the way we calculate boluses is the correct way to calculate boluses (for us). Yes, I'm happy if they are under 180 and ecstatic if they spend even a few hours hovering in range. It's rare. It's our goal, but we spend more time chasing our goal then enjoying any blood sugar related accomplishments.

3) Your (working) pancreas is way smarter than my brain. Your pancreas is a freakin' genius. How the hell does it keep your blood sugar so perfectly in range? How does it know that today is a sunny day, so recess will be outside? Or that today's the day that you have a really stressful conversation on the agenda? How does your pancreas titrate so damn well? Because, seriously, I know exactly how Ryan's day will go tomorrow, at least from 8:20 to 3:45, and I know exactly how many carbs he'll have for breakfast and lunch, but I'll more than likely guess at whether to round up to 3 units or down to 2.5. It's a bit of a crapshoot.

4) The tools are good. But really, they're nowhere near as good as your pancreas. Yes, we can check blood sugars in 5 seconds, and we can treat a low blood sugar with a precise amount of fast-acting carbs, but that doesn't change the fact that Jake spent 20 minutes in the nurse's office today, feeling like crap while he waited for those 15 grams of CHO to kick in.

5) Yes, I can eat that. Often, I probably shouldn't. But neither should you.

6) Yes, I want a cure. Yes, I realize there are worse diseases out there. Yes, we can handle blood sugar checks and insulin injections and lows and highs. We can live with diabetes. We can manage it. But every day without a cure is another day that damage is done to the tiny blood vessels of our eyes and kidneys. Every day without a cure is another day that we worry about how we'll pay for all our medical supplies. Every day without a cure is another day that we risk having an incapacitating low blood sugar, or a sickening high.

And nighttime, for me, brings fear for my boys that I can't write about, can't talk about, even with those who share that fear.

I need a good night's sleep.

We need a cure.